Rest day today and most thoroughly well earnt. I decided to stay in paid camping an extra night for three reasons: the niggle in my right calf has every sign of turning into a serious strain; I've underspent my budget everyday so deserve to spend a little; my rear wheel problem combined with reason one will mean that the Col du Tourmalet will indeed have to wait until next time thus I've no need to hurry to get there worrying about getting up the mountain and back in time for my friends wedding.
So with a rest day called I get to relaxing as best I can but I do need to go to the shops and being this map-close to what looks like one of Europe's longest and most stunning beaches (well on the map anyway) I have to go right? Only a twenty mile calf stinging round trip. Ouch. Probably shouldn't have done it for current/increasing the current injury problems; definitely should've done it for awesome beach reasons. Now I'm not much of a beach person but what a stunner it was, soft light yellow sands, inviting blue waters but with a surf to challenge anyone seeking anything more than a dip. Mind it did make me more that a little body conscious. There were some stunning attractive bronzed goddesses, each more beautiful than the last and each knowing it more than the last; looking through my expertly under-tanned (but with highly amusingly cyclist tan lines) pudgy body, only seeking the eyes of the muscular tanned elite, of which there were many.
Mind you I did forget just how naked the French get at the beach. There were sights that could've made you blind and sights that would make you wish you were. I mean I'm no prude, if you want to rock out with your cock out it's up to you but heavens to Betsy, please don't walk around the tide line bending down from the hip to leisurely pick up sea shells. I mean the eye of Sauron has a less intimidating stare than the anal wink I was given by Mons. Middle-aged-spread-all-over-tan-man. C'est la vie. Back to camp for some proper rest and dinner, for tomorrow it's back to the road, pain-killered up and hoping for good times.
SkimmaPoe
Poetry, short stories, intermittent travel writing and the occasional rant from the ponderous imaginings and real life experiences of Mr. A D McSkimming.
Tuesday, 9 July 2013
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Skim vs. France - Saturday - Day 8
Up and at it for a leisurely 9:30 today, for I was going to be reaching the coast by today via a quick ferry across La Garonne at Blaye saving me the maelstrom of major roads surrounding Bordeaux and the promise of much easier navigation. Wish I'd been a bit more eager for the get go this morning for as I arrive at the small port in Blaye for the ferry it would appear that I missed the boat (literal-a-mon) by twenty five minutes and the next one is two and a half hours away. Now I'm left with a decision, do I strike out and strive to find a way around outer Bordeaux? or sit and wait in hope that I can find a campsite near the coast much later in the evening. I choose to sit on the dock of the bay.
I suppose this is one of the big draw backs with this type of cycling trip, especially solo, is that you really can't just lock your bike up and go for a wonder, you're kind tied to your bike with all of your belongings strapped to the back of it. Unless you've somewhere safe to stash your stuff you're stuck, and with Blaye in full market day swing I don't really fancy lugging the the whole lot around a busy town. It's a shame and I do feel a pang of loneliness as I sit by myself, but ah well, you can't dwell on thoughts like those when you know you're going to be by yourself for at least another week; time to exercise my mind a little and develop an idea two that have been niggling me.
Well the last 35 miles were smashed in two hour and a half hours, no mean feat when you're carrying the equivalent of an extra two-thirds of a person on the back of your bike and the temperature has steadily risen all day making a total fluid intake of seven and a half litres today! I arrived at the campsite quite exhausted to what I perceive to be a 'camping full' (french equivalent of) sign but as luck would have it that was just for the motorhomes/caravans, there was room at the back for a tent; at thirteen Euro's very reasonable also. First things first, it's shower time, eight days one proper wash (baby wipes for the vitals) and dear sweet deity of choice it was a-mother-flipping-azing! I'd compare it to fasting for a long time eating the merest of morsels then having that first bite of a full meal, it truely makes you appreciate it when you get it. It feels so good to be clean. Unfortunately I have developed a little niggle in my right calf on the way here (largely due to the very flat, very straight roads encouraging haste), I might have to stay here another night. When it came to washing my clothes my fatigued mind didn't make the best observational choice as I washed them in entirely the wrong sink. I did wonder why someone was giving me a dirty look whilst a scrubbed my week old cycling clothes in the face washing sink (the sink for the clothes was on the other side of the block I discovered). No harm done I'm sure, not speaking the language helps with faux pas, no doubt, just doing my bit to improve the British reputation on the continent. Now just dinner and a thorough study of the map to see if I can still make it to the Pyrenees and back up in time for my friends wedding party. Bonne nuit.
I suppose this is one of the big draw backs with this type of cycling trip, especially solo, is that you really can't just lock your bike up and go for a wonder, you're kind tied to your bike with all of your belongings strapped to the back of it. Unless you've somewhere safe to stash your stuff you're stuck, and with Blaye in full market day swing I don't really fancy lugging the the whole lot around a busy town. It's a shame and I do feel a pang of loneliness as I sit by myself, but ah well, you can't dwell on thoughts like those when you know you're going to be by yourself for at least another week; time to exercise my mind a little and develop an idea two that have been niggling me.
Well the last 35 miles were smashed in two hour and a half hours, no mean feat when you're carrying the equivalent of an extra two-thirds of a person on the back of your bike and the temperature has steadily risen all day making a total fluid intake of seven and a half litres today! I arrived at the campsite quite exhausted to what I perceive to be a 'camping full' (french equivalent of) sign but as luck would have it that was just for the motorhomes/caravans, there was room at the back for a tent; at thirteen Euro's very reasonable also. First things first, it's shower time, eight days one proper wash (baby wipes for the vitals) and dear sweet deity of choice it was a-mother-flipping-azing! I'd compare it to fasting for a long time eating the merest of morsels then having that first bite of a full meal, it truely makes you appreciate it when you get it. It feels so good to be clean. Unfortunately I have developed a little niggle in my right calf on the way here (largely due to the very flat, very straight roads encouraging haste), I might have to stay here another night. When it came to washing my clothes my fatigued mind didn't make the best observational choice as I washed them in entirely the wrong sink. I did wonder why someone was giving me a dirty look whilst a scrubbed my week old cycling clothes in the face washing sink (the sink for the clothes was on the other side of the block I discovered). No harm done I'm sure, not speaking the language helps with faux pas, no doubt, just doing my bit to improve the British reputation on the continent. Now just dinner and a thorough study of the map to see if I can still make it to the Pyrenees and back up in time for my friends wedding party. Bonne nuit.
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
Skim vs. France - Friday - Day 7
Today was a gloriously sunny day, but it was still quite cold. I think I might've got a little bit caught out by the chilly breeze with a smidge of sunkissedness for my efforts, twas wonderful cycling weather though. On my way down and across another page of the map a small sad face of realisation ( :( ) came to me whilst getting my spoke key out to true my back wheel again, that if I've had to do this twice in a week that A: these are shit wheels and B: I'm probably not going to be able to climb a mountain; a dream I've had since sitting with my dad watching the Tour de France as elite athletes creak up stupendously impressive mountains to jaw dropping heights to fly down the other side. I mean there's quite a bit of difference in noticing a wobble and pulling over into a farmers field to straighten it and noticing it on the way down or up a massive mountain that has little to no side of the road. I'm all up for a bit of danger but that might be taking it too far. As the bad guys in the cartoons I used to (still) watch 'I'll get you next time, Pyrenees!' and with considerably better wheels you can bet. Still I'll to look up at them from the bottom, silver lining I suppose, something about the journey being the real prize or something.
I did however get to visit the lovely village of Breville today, not only a fine manufacturer of cheese toastie makers (and what I called actually called cheese toasties for a large part of my formative life) but also a fine village. The entrance to which was guarded by a beautifully carved wooden sculpture, I marveled at it as I rode past but entering into the town proper there were more of these sculptures, life sized fairies, a model solar system, all the little traffic posts outside the school had a different wooden animal or head carved into it, the clock at the centre of the village was also made of wood with three figures holding it up. I almost cycled through without stopping to take photo's, fortunately I thought such an undocumented exit would be a crime, so briefly doubling back I snapped some of the best. Closer inspection only increased my awe of these beautiful creations, I would've quite happily moved there and become an apprentice wood carver; maybe that's a tale for another time.
On I went and with my need for a wash getting more desperate by the day as I was becoming quite ripe, so I kept a sharp eye out for places apt to do it. Just outside of Cognac proper I spied a perfect place a secluded bend of a river that wasn't over looked and was easily accessible. Right I'll just nip into Cognac to get some vitals and come back here for a sneaky wash. It was not for me you see I found my way, by following advertising signs to the nearest supermarket (always no more thanfive mins away where ever you are, apparently) and inadvertently found myself on quite a mzjor dual carriage way with no choice but to go all the way to the other side of town and with not one scooby as to how to get back. Ah well by the morrow I should be in a campsite by the (hopefully) beautiful coast just past Bordeaux where heavenly showers (hopefully) await. Until then :)
I did however get to visit the lovely village of Breville today, not only a fine manufacturer of cheese toastie makers (and what I called actually called cheese toasties for a large part of my formative life) but also a fine village. The entrance to which was guarded by a beautifully carved wooden sculpture, I marveled at it as I rode past but entering into the town proper there were more of these sculptures, life sized fairies, a model solar system, all the little traffic posts outside the school had a different wooden animal or head carved into it, the clock at the centre of the village was also made of wood with three figures holding it up. I almost cycled through without stopping to take photo's, fortunately I thought such an undocumented exit would be a crime, so briefly doubling back I snapped some of the best. Closer inspection only increased my awe of these beautiful creations, I would've quite happily moved there and become an apprentice wood carver; maybe that's a tale for another time.
On I went and with my need for a wash getting more desperate by the day as I was becoming quite ripe, so I kept a sharp eye out for places apt to do it. Just outside of Cognac proper I spied a perfect place a secluded bend of a river that wasn't over looked and was easily accessible. Right I'll just nip into Cognac to get some vitals and come back here for a sneaky wash. It was not for me you see I found my way, by following advertising signs to the nearest supermarket (always no more thanfive mins away where ever you are, apparently) and inadvertently found myself on quite a mzjor dual carriage way with no choice but to go all the way to the other side of town and with not one scooby as to how to get back. Ah well by the morrow I should be in a campsite by the (hopefully) beautiful coast just past Bordeaux where heavenly showers (hopefully) await. Until then :)
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Skim vs. France - Thursday - Day 6
Although the day started off wet and cold I wanted to get on the road early as I was camping in quite an exposed place that was also too close to residences for my comfort. I haven't mentioned it thus far, but sleeping at night has been a problem for me but I did have quite a full nights sleep which I think quite lifted my mood. I don't quite know when I became a light sleeper, I certainly didn't used to be but I most certainly am one now! I think that fact that I'm sleeping on patches of ground that I shouldn't be combined with the fact that some of the fields have been near to trafficked roads, whilst I have been able to keep my tent from the head lights (most recommended) the noise of the car passing on the road is louder than you think, especially when all that's separating you from that noise is the thin membranes of the inner and outer tent.Still up and onwards!
I accomplished a comfortable seventy miles today; comfortable for the fact that the wind direction was now a juicy tail wind making a solid six miles an hour difference to my average speed, which granted doesn't sound much but spread over a day allows you the comfort of longer breaks and feeling not the least bit stressed when you check the map for the hundredth time that day. I did notice, well I should say my derriere noticed that the road surface isn't as pleasant as my earlier experiences. My prostate feels as though its gone nine rounds with Mike Tyson and still has to face another three. Another couple of days and I should've reached the west coast past Bordeaux having thoroughly earnt myself a rest day.
Today's extended lunch was demanded by my kit that needed a good drying out and the fact of a thankful tail wind was made a delight not just because of the high grade food but because I was allowed to observe a falcon hunting for its lunch, deftly hovering before plunging to strike and return. A joy to watch it hunt for just over an hour or so, come to think of it I have been rather spoilt for wildlife thus far; boar, deer, birds of prey by the butt load, all kinds of funky insects and smaller mammals. The French countryside is chocked full of the good stuff! Though I have to say I've definitely done farmland, the scenery hasn't really changed since I've arrived, and whilst it has been a pleasure to ride seeing mile after mile of massive fields in various states of growth and harvest it does get a bit samey. Mind I did get to cycle through France's main apple growing region today, might've foraged me up a selection of choice apples which I'm pretty sure were going to spoil if I didn't liberate them; bring on the coast and mountains!
I accomplished a comfortable seventy miles today; comfortable for the fact that the wind direction was now a juicy tail wind making a solid six miles an hour difference to my average speed, which granted doesn't sound much but spread over a day allows you the comfort of longer breaks and feeling not the least bit stressed when you check the map for the hundredth time that day. I did notice, well I should say my derriere noticed that the road surface isn't as pleasant as my earlier experiences. My prostate feels as though its gone nine rounds with Mike Tyson and still has to face another three. Another couple of days and I should've reached the west coast past Bordeaux having thoroughly earnt myself a rest day.
Today's extended lunch was demanded by my kit that needed a good drying out and the fact of a thankful tail wind was made a delight not just because of the high grade food but because I was allowed to observe a falcon hunting for its lunch, deftly hovering before plunging to strike and return. A joy to watch it hunt for just over an hour or so, come to think of it I have been rather spoilt for wildlife thus far; boar, deer, birds of prey by the butt load, all kinds of funky insects and smaller mammals. The French countryside is chocked full of the good stuff! Though I have to say I've definitely done farmland, the scenery hasn't really changed since I've arrived, and whilst it has been a pleasure to ride seeing mile after mile of massive fields in various states of growth and harvest it does get a bit samey. Mind I did get to cycle through France's main apple growing region today, might've foraged me up a selection of choice apples which I'm pretty sure were going to spoil if I didn't liberate them; bring on the coast and mountains!
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Skim vs. France - Wednesday - Day 5
Thankfully today was a much better day. Though it was still very damp, as was almost all of my belongings, it wasn't raining! It was quite cold though, I wasn't out of long sleeves all day. However it was occasionally broken fluffy clouds filling an immense amount of the horizon I was headed towards that cheered me greatly as I started my days ride in this relatively flat part of the country. Eating into the miles I was glad to see it was a wise decision to set camp early last night as for the next twenty miles or so there were no real contenders for camping. There were some extremely busy roads, a massive power plant with full industrial surrounds but after that blot on the landscape I came to Chinon and wow! Pretty as a full roast on an empty stomach. A wonderful wide river running through the centre of it spanned by a low arched bridge it was truly pleasing after passing through a couple miles of industrial grey. A mid morning break was spent in a farmers field just out of the town propped up against some rolled hay whilst trying to soak up the occasional patch of break through sunlight.
On from Chinon and had a lovely day meandering along tiny back roads. I think my French is improving also as in one of the tiny towns I was struggling find my way out of I met two Irish lads who before I knew they were Irish I fully 'Bonjour'ed and they mistook me for the real thing, either that or they didn't fancy stopping to talk to a lone cyclist who fired a greeting at them as they mumbled a return bonjour and cycled down a road that I knew would bring them right back to where I was now (as I had just done). Intimidating foreigners with confident French talk, I think I'm becoming a local. A nice long stop for lunch to allow my gear to dry off in one of the sunnier spells of the day put my moral back into the green zone. Even getting quite lost towards the end of the day due to a combination of a road being resurfaced (no small undertaking in France), my not being able to see the sun (bring compass next time) and some of the roads I was travelling not being on my map couldn't dampen things. Although my campsite is the most exposed one I've chosen yet, a small scenic triangle of chained off grass not too far from houses, I decide it simply must be, I'm sure it'll be reet. Le grande voyage continues!
On from Chinon and had a lovely day meandering along tiny back roads. I think my French is improving also as in one of the tiny towns I was struggling find my way out of I met two Irish lads who before I knew they were Irish I fully 'Bonjour'ed and they mistook me for the real thing, either that or they didn't fancy stopping to talk to a lone cyclist who fired a greeting at them as they mumbled a return bonjour and cycled down a road that I knew would bring them right back to where I was now (as I had just done). Intimidating foreigners with confident French talk, I think I'm becoming a local. A nice long stop for lunch to allow my gear to dry off in one of the sunnier spells of the day put my moral back into the green zone. Even getting quite lost towards the end of the day due to a combination of a road being resurfaced (no small undertaking in France), my not being able to see the sun (bring compass next time) and some of the roads I was travelling not being on my map couldn't dampen things. Although my campsite is the most exposed one I've chosen yet, a small scenic triangle of chained off grass not too far from houses, I decide it simply must be, I'm sure it'll be reet. Le grande voyage continues!
Thursday, 20 June 2013
Skim vs. France - Tuesday - Day 4
If Sunday was a test then today was a low. It rained for most of the day, a hearty test of character when almost your entire day is spent outside. Well with this flip of the script it should stop me from banging on about the the lack of water at least! With the rain hard in you loose much of your vista and without being able to look around and say (or at least think) Wow, the cycling becomes so much more of a chore. Negative thoughts that are usually easy to keep at bay with a quick 'shut up and check this out.' are the first to come lurking to the forefront.Niggles and aches that spoke gently but persistently on previous day were complaining much louder today, namely my saddle contact area (gooch) and dodgy left knee.
With visibility low navigation becomes increasingly hard, doubled by the fact that you need somewhere dryish to get the map out. Town navigation is hard enough as no French is set up with any common sense, much is a huge part of their charm and character nut Mon Dieu! When the road map you have shows you nothing but roads going in and out with the interconnecting roads in the town mere guess work of direction and one way systems all you've got to go off is road numbers most of which are only shown on the way out of towns, it's downright perplexing. I got lost twice in Chateau-du-Loir only to find that when I eventually did get out onto my desired road the D10 that whilst making my way down this changes number, sans turning or junction but only for a little bit when it reverts to it's previous number. Now normally I probably wouldn't have noticed this but having got lost twice already it was the last thing my fried and depressed mind state needed.
One sight that did cheer me up was the most hilarious cycle lane ever. It was only about three hundred meters long and I'd say a foot wide from the curb, followed exactly and by exactly I mean right angles some empty parking bays that were bookended by six inch high concrete curb. The diagram provided just to the left may be an artists impression but is no exaggeration; it gave me a good chuckle.
Some time after a tree sheltered lunch, as it started to smash it it down once more I'd started to notice that my back wheel was feeling a little spongy and every now and then would give me a little shimmy to the left. It was an odd feeling that filled me with no small amount of dread and as I was also coming up to a section of the map that looked like I would need some savvy I decided to find a camp site early this day and after only a sixty miles of riding, my shortest day yet one was discovered. Setting my things off my bike not setting anything up as it's still quite early I flip the bike to have a little look at that wobbly wheel. Gash pony! Some of the spokes are seriously waggle dance loose. Truing a wheel isn't fun at the best of times, massively satisfying when done but still quite a stressful process, doing so in a damp field where you're miles from the nearest town and don't speak the lingo, by jingo it gets you in a fluster. Yet it also focuses the mind to a point where you must get it right, with the rain holding off so I can try to dry out a little I sit down to the task. I have to say, not a bad job in the end of it and I'm glad I caught it when I did so at least now I can keep an eye on it. Now, with no local folk having a look around, I set down for the night time for dinner, tea, pipe, relax and bed. Here's to a better tomorrow.
With visibility low navigation becomes increasingly hard, doubled by the fact that you need somewhere dryish to get the map out. Town navigation is hard enough as no French is set up with any common sense, much is a huge part of their charm and character nut Mon Dieu! When the road map you have shows you nothing but roads going in and out with the interconnecting roads in the town mere guess work of direction and one way systems all you've got to go off is road numbers most of which are only shown on the way out of towns, it's downright perplexing. I got lost twice in Chateau-du-Loir only to find that when I eventually did get out onto my desired road the D10 that whilst making my way down this changes number, sans turning or junction but only for a little bit when it reverts to it's previous number. Now normally I probably wouldn't have noticed this but having got lost twice already it was the last thing my fried and depressed mind state needed.
One sight that did cheer me up was the most hilarious cycle lane ever. It was only about three hundred meters long and I'd say a foot wide from the curb, followed exactly and by exactly I mean right angles some empty parking bays that were bookended by six inch high concrete curb. The diagram provided just to the left may be an artists impression but is no exaggeration; it gave me a good chuckle.
Some time after a tree sheltered lunch, as it started to smash it it down once more I'd started to notice that my back wheel was feeling a little spongy and every now and then would give me a little shimmy to the left. It was an odd feeling that filled me with no small amount of dread and as I was also coming up to a section of the map that looked like I would need some savvy I decided to find a camp site early this day and after only a sixty miles of riding, my shortest day yet one was discovered. Setting my things off my bike not setting anything up as it's still quite early I flip the bike to have a little look at that wobbly wheel. Gash pony! Some of the spokes are seriously waggle dance loose. Truing a wheel isn't fun at the best of times, massively satisfying when done but still quite a stressful process, doing so in a damp field where you're miles from the nearest town and don't speak the lingo, by jingo it gets you in a fluster. Yet it also focuses the mind to a point where you must get it right, with the rain holding off so I can try to dry out a little I sit down to the task. I have to say, not a bad job in the end of it and I'm glad I caught it when I did so at least now I can keep an eye on it. Now, with no local folk having a look around, I set down for the night time for dinner, tea, pipe, relax and bed. Here's to a better tomorrow.
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Skim vs. France - Monday - Day 3
Thankfully today was a much better day. Though the old nemesis of that pesky headwind was still about, facing him in the morning is a much easier prospect. My lack of luck in finding a shop that would sell me water in bulk last night means that this takes top billing on the priorities list, to the cash for water dispensary post haste! Cloud cover with an attempt at rain through the night (more just a warning of what could happen; some plastic bags to keep my vitals dry priority No. 2 me'thinks) makes the morning ride fairly cool thus meaning that my paltry 100ml odd of water should last me.The first town I hit with hope La-Ferte-Vidame is stunning, proper olde worlde looking village that looks like it was built for the grounds keepers of the huge Chat at the villages head. Sadly no real shops, well nothing that looked like shops in what was probably a selection of listed (or the French equivalent there of) buildings; still a pleasure on the eye and mind but water is my monkey for now.
On my way out of the town I spy a secluded but quite large lake with full and daunting 'PRIVE' signs all over the small entrance, do I risk a a dip and quick wash? It has been three days of near non-stop sweating and whilst it's not warm enough to give the clothes a quick once over my body certainly needs it. Man wasn't supposed to wash with baby wipes alone! Luckily it's just a chain on a hook guarding the entrance, which I unhook run my bike down the stairs and pop back to leave no clues of trespass to the casual observer. Upon closer inspection the water is quite murky and there are what I assume were little fishing jetties placed around the edge of the the lake. It's a big old lake, surely a little soap and some non-fecal Skim filth could do no harm? After hiding my bike a little and retrieving my soap one final quick look about to make sure I wasn't about to get shot I strip down for a scrub. Though the water was murky the wash is revitalizing and not wanting to overstay my welcome I re-pack to lumber my laden bike back up the stairs and out with anyone, barring the trout, none the wiser!
Fortunately in the next town, a solid 20 miles from my start point I find a shop large enough to sell bulk water and top up on other vitals. As I get to the check out with priority one thoroughly ticked and seeing as the skies haven't let up there threatening loom I ready myself for priority two. In the most pathetic French I ask for three carrier bags. As I'm not buying a lot the attendant points to the rucksack I'm carrying and after several French attempts that fell to a bewildered expression (I'm pretty sure I definitely said it right) eventually says in English. 'Just put in there.' Looking at me like I'm simple I explain it's for keeping things dry on a bicycle as I catch myself miming the motion of pedals with my hands I think maybe she has a point with the simple thing? Still she asks the burly security guard if this is ok and he says yes. Crickey, all that for three bags, which were all paid for, I suppose it's a good policy as if it was that much hassle at home I'd bring my own for sure.
Onwards, with my bottles all full and a extra bottle of water strapped to the rack (learning see) I set off and seeing as how yesterday I went in the wrongish direction (south east) I thought I'd try some white map roads (the smallest denomination of road avaialable) one word, Bliss! Proper bendy and hilly raods but most of all as far as traffic went they were quiet and much less exposed to the wind. Cue a blissful day of riding meandering, forested roads and the joy of finding a open shop in the evening, for the first time since I arrived in France I could settle down at the edge of a farmers field, tucked nicely away from roads or houses and have more water than I could drink. I think a well earnt cup of tea was well past due, not wanting to take milk on the road it was a delicious cup of spiced rooibos, slipped down a treat with dinner and a pipe. Happy days.
On my way out of the town I spy a secluded but quite large lake with full and daunting 'PRIVE' signs all over the small entrance, do I risk a a dip and quick wash? It has been three days of near non-stop sweating and whilst it's not warm enough to give the clothes a quick once over my body certainly needs it. Man wasn't supposed to wash with baby wipes alone! Luckily it's just a chain on a hook guarding the entrance, which I unhook run my bike down the stairs and pop back to leave no clues of trespass to the casual observer. Upon closer inspection the water is quite murky and there are what I assume were little fishing jetties placed around the edge of the the lake. It's a big old lake, surely a little soap and some non-fecal Skim filth could do no harm? After hiding my bike a little and retrieving my soap one final quick look about to make sure I wasn't about to get shot I strip down for a scrub. Though the water was murky the wash is revitalizing and not wanting to overstay my welcome I re-pack to lumber my laden bike back up the stairs and out with anyone, barring the trout, none the wiser!
Fortunately in the next town, a solid 20 miles from my start point I find a shop large enough to sell bulk water and top up on other vitals. As I get to the check out with priority one thoroughly ticked and seeing as the skies haven't let up there threatening loom I ready myself for priority two. In the most pathetic French I ask for three carrier bags. As I'm not buying a lot the attendant points to the rucksack I'm carrying and after several French attempts that fell to a bewildered expression (I'm pretty sure I definitely said it right) eventually says in English. 'Just put in there.' Looking at me like I'm simple I explain it's for keeping things dry on a bicycle as I catch myself miming the motion of pedals with my hands I think maybe she has a point with the simple thing? Still she asks the burly security guard if this is ok and he says yes. Crickey, all that for three bags, which were all paid for, I suppose it's a good policy as if it was that much hassle at home I'd bring my own for sure.
Onwards, with my bottles all full and a extra bottle of water strapped to the rack (learning see) I set off and seeing as how yesterday I went in the wrongish direction (south east) I thought I'd try some white map roads (the smallest denomination of road avaialable) one word, Bliss! Proper bendy and hilly raods but most of all as far as traffic went they were quiet and much less exposed to the wind. Cue a blissful day of riding meandering, forested roads and the joy of finding a open shop in the evening, for the first time since I arrived in France I could settle down at the edge of a farmers field, tucked nicely away from roads or houses and have more water than I could drink. I think a well earnt cup of tea was well past due, not wanting to take milk on the road it was a delicious cup of spiced rooibos, slipped down a treat with dinner and a pipe. Happy days.
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Skim vs. France - Sunday - Day 2
Today was a test. It started off most pleasant, it was nice and cool, breakfast was a flapjack which was donated to me by the venerable Boz and Sooz and oatcakes dry and my water supply was dangerously low; luckily a nearby Carrefore saved my life by being open. Re-supplying I thought 'If I nail a litre of OJ and get another litre and a half of water (basically refilling my bottles on my bike) that'll see me through until I stop to re-supply for dinner.' Of course forgetting that it is a Sunday and that all big shops and most little ones close at midday. Happy for now in my ignorance the four litres of fluid I managed to get my hands on through the day disappeared with a velocity that truly took me by surprise.
I digress, as the morning continued being increasingly pleasant I still felt a tremendous oneness with myself and my surroundings, the miles rolled by with a gentle but persistent haste. I absorb myself in the pleasures of looking at a map, having a vague direction I need to be going in (largely south with a little west thrown in), looking to avoid or navigate around obstacles (major roads, cities, and rivers) and getting on with the task of enjoying the stunning countryside that France has to offer. It was little things like crossing the Seine on a free ferry was bewildering at first but as the shock wore off that they weren't going to ask for money for the extremely short crossing made it all the more pleasant.
Lunch, sitting in the shade of a tree by a Boule trap in a sleepy village whilst I devour a large sandwich of cold cuts (ham in this case), a brick of cheese and salad, rounded off with some juicy in season yellow plums can be heartily recommended; throw in a short nap and it's heaven sent. As I battled further south I arrived at the town of Couches-en-Ouche to find the town centre, and the direction I would've liked to have gone, blocked off. Bugger, I thought as I studied the map to see how far I'd need to back track but as I did the sound of music availed my ears; Street Festival! That I have to admit were playing some rather good brass and percussion based funky jazz. With the main street cordoned off the bands would walk up and down stopping at various busy places to play a few songs for the gathering crowds pleasure. Largely this consisted of the bars, which were packed full and flowing out onto the street but occasionally they would meet and have a mini battle. It was a highly entertaining interlude, even the random AC/DC cover band at the end of the road gave me a giggle, though it is odd when you hear songs you know sung in heavily accented English.
Unfortunately I did get a little lost and whilst I did end up heading south it was in the slightly wrong direction, it was time for the first of many de-tours. If only it wasn't for the consistent head wind which for the last forty odd miles of the day and had me swearing at it on more than one occasion the day could've continued to be pleasant. Alas the old worrying water situation wasn't much better today with the previously mentioned lack of shops I dwindled to my reserve bottle, which was planned for cooking alone. Finding another lovely campsite in a unused field next to a road and behind a hedge I settled down for the night with a pleasing dinner of rice, veg and sauce (I'm afraid I did drink the rice water, desperate times); a pipe and the liberal application of aftersun (of course I'm creaming myself through the day but that didn't stop me from cooking) I was ready for bed. Another small section of France conquered, the search for fluids will continue tomorrow; bonne nuit.
Lesson for the day: looks and comfort are two different things in a saddle, the latter should always outweigh the former.
I digress, as the morning continued being increasingly pleasant I still felt a tremendous oneness with myself and my surroundings, the miles rolled by with a gentle but persistent haste. I absorb myself in the pleasures of looking at a map, having a vague direction I need to be going in (largely south with a little west thrown in), looking to avoid or navigate around obstacles (major roads, cities, and rivers) and getting on with the task of enjoying the stunning countryside that France has to offer. It was little things like crossing the Seine on a free ferry was bewildering at first but as the shock wore off that they weren't going to ask for money for the extremely short crossing made it all the more pleasant.
Lunch, sitting in the shade of a tree by a Boule trap in a sleepy village whilst I devour a large sandwich of cold cuts (ham in this case), a brick of cheese and salad, rounded off with some juicy in season yellow plums can be heartily recommended; throw in a short nap and it's heaven sent. As I battled further south I arrived at the town of Couches-en-Ouche to find the town centre, and the direction I would've liked to have gone, blocked off. Bugger, I thought as I studied the map to see how far I'd need to back track but as I did the sound of music availed my ears; Street Festival! That I have to admit were playing some rather good brass and percussion based funky jazz. With the main street cordoned off the bands would walk up and down stopping at various busy places to play a few songs for the gathering crowds pleasure. Largely this consisted of the bars, which were packed full and flowing out onto the street but occasionally they would meet and have a mini battle. It was a highly entertaining interlude, even the random AC/DC cover band at the end of the road gave me a giggle, though it is odd when you hear songs you know sung in heavily accented English.
Unfortunately I did get a little lost and whilst I did end up heading south it was in the slightly wrong direction, it was time for the first of many de-tours. If only it wasn't for the consistent head wind which for the last forty odd miles of the day and had me swearing at it on more than one occasion the day could've continued to be pleasant. Alas the old worrying water situation wasn't much better today with the previously mentioned lack of shops I dwindled to my reserve bottle, which was planned for cooking alone. Finding another lovely campsite in a unused field next to a road and behind a hedge I settled down for the night with a pleasing dinner of rice, veg and sauce (I'm afraid I did drink the rice water, desperate times); a pipe and the liberal application of aftersun (of course I'm creaming myself through the day but that didn't stop me from cooking) I was ready for bed. Another small section of France conquered, the search for fluids will continue tomorrow; bonne nuit.
Lesson for the day: looks and comfort are two different things in a saddle, the latter should always outweigh the former.
Monday, 17 June 2013
Skim vs. France - Saturday - 8/9/12 - Departures & Arrivals
{Morning}
The ferry has been made in ample time. Rising at a sensible time from the sofa of two very good friends in Brighton (big hugs to Boz & Sooz) I set out for the first part of my solo adventure with twelve or so miles to the port in Newhaven. The teasing southern coastline is sampled and enjoyed in fine weather, though it had a crisp autumnal edge was soon defeated by glorious sunshine and several short sharp hills to warm the cockles. The disappointment of facing this journey alone was short lived as the excitement started to rise as the British shore line rubbed itself out on the horizon. A good friend (who remains good to this day) started off positive about coming but slowly changed to non-committal then made the definitive 'I won't be coming.' just a week previous. Unperturbed I sought out high adventure in strange lands for myself. Well that and the fact that I had to get to the south of France for a friends wedding coupled to the fact that I'd just bought a new touring bike (though I still love you Matilda!) and had paid for all other transport (ferry there & plane back) meant of course I was going!
So to keep myself sane I thought a diary of events should be in order. I have to admit I'm more than quite looking forward to the challenge. Yet this is merely an introduction, my bike, though fully laden, is still in the hold and not one inch of French soil has been cycled. Excited anticipation of good times, tempered fears of bad times, my my route (apart from a vague south west notion) and my campsites which hopefully will be almost entirely free and wild all still in the theory stage and not yet in practice. So for now I ease back into my deckchair soak in some early glory from the smiling sun and inhale some rejuvenating sea air. Viva la Francais!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{Afternoon}
Arrival, Deippe is in full swing! There is a Kite festival going on by the beach, an absolutely dazzling array of different kites are afloat on the sea breeze and the town is super busy on this hot Saturday. Unfortunately the traffic is so dense and I'm still wobbling on a fully laden touring bike that will take at least a solid day's worth of cycling to get re-used to the the weight of that I cannot stop to take a photo. The crawl of stop start traffic whilst trying to navigate out of the busy port town is not so welcome but a small price to pay for such a introduction. West is all I need to know for now until I can get out far enough to head south away from major roads. Getting out of the town was no small feat but deftly done in just under an hour. Out of the town I find dreamy roads that curve and sweep around hair pin corners as they ascend and descend the rolling coastal hills. With the beautiful climate I embrace France's terrain like a new lover, passionate and enthusiastic to explore as much of her ample body as she'll allow whilst hoping that my fumbling gropes and gasps are just as pleasing for her. Along the road a little bit I spy my first Patisserie, do I stop so soon? Of course I do! With bread being three of my main food groups I am quite frankly in heaven. So dusting off my non-existant French I step in to order my 'Une Baguette s'il vous plais.' Unfortunately there was quite a queue in front of me. With my nerve faltering I seem unable to help but mimic the ladies in front of me rendering my request to have a high pitched feminine tone that is far from my gruff macho manly gravelly voice. Never the less I seem to be understood as we trade €0.83 for some of the most delicious bread; crispy, fluffy, crunchy, moist, springy, airy all-round-mouthgasm. Although I promise just to have a little bit half of the large baguette is devoured on the spot.
Still miles need to be done and a small part of France needs to be conquered before bed time. Yet I must say as I go about the thirty odd miles it is going to take my body a while to adjust to the climate, I am so glad that my bike can take three water bottles. Just out of a tiny town of Limesy I find a suitable field by the edge of a forest, the key to a good field for wild or fly camping is one that is quite secluded and has no crops on or near because surely no-one would be angry at you for camping on one of those? The French are world renowned for being open and friendly to those hapless Brits who don't even speak their language. After pitching my tent I get down to a meager meal as I discover there were no proper shops near by and I was quite tired, shrinking my small amount of French to full English thus meaning stopping to ask impossibly out of the question. After a sleep and a small ride tomorrow I'm sure I'll do much better.
Settling down for the night with a good pipe everything seems right with the world, I even have my first encounter of the trip with a large sounder of Boars! Ruddy glad there's a fence in the way as they are big buggers but they make hilarious noises! Oinking, grunting, squealing and squelching, a delight to observe. Lesson of the day: Learn much more French!
The ferry has been made in ample time. Rising at a sensible time from the sofa of two very good friends in Brighton (big hugs to Boz & Sooz) I set out for the first part of my solo adventure with twelve or so miles to the port in Newhaven. The teasing southern coastline is sampled and enjoyed in fine weather, though it had a crisp autumnal edge was soon defeated by glorious sunshine and several short sharp hills to warm the cockles. The disappointment of facing this journey alone was short lived as the excitement started to rise as the British shore line rubbed itself out on the horizon. A good friend (who remains good to this day) started off positive about coming but slowly changed to non-committal then made the definitive 'I won't be coming.' just a week previous. Unperturbed I sought out high adventure in strange lands for myself. Well that and the fact that I had to get to the south of France for a friends wedding coupled to the fact that I'd just bought a new touring bike (though I still love you Matilda!) and had paid for all other transport (ferry there & plane back) meant of course I was going!
So to keep myself sane I thought a diary of events should be in order. I have to admit I'm more than quite looking forward to the challenge. Yet this is merely an introduction, my bike, though fully laden, is still in the hold and not one inch of French soil has been cycled. Excited anticipation of good times, tempered fears of bad times, my my route (apart from a vague south west notion) and my campsites which hopefully will be almost entirely free and wild all still in the theory stage and not yet in practice. So for now I ease back into my deckchair soak in some early glory from the smiling sun and inhale some rejuvenating sea air. Viva la Francais!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{Afternoon}
Arrival, Deippe is in full swing! There is a Kite festival going on by the beach, an absolutely dazzling array of different kites are afloat on the sea breeze and the town is super busy on this hot Saturday. Unfortunately the traffic is so dense and I'm still wobbling on a fully laden touring bike that will take at least a solid day's worth of cycling to get re-used to the the weight of that I cannot stop to take a photo. The crawl of stop start traffic whilst trying to navigate out of the busy port town is not so welcome but a small price to pay for such a introduction. West is all I need to know for now until I can get out far enough to head south away from major roads. Getting out of the town was no small feat but deftly done in just under an hour. Out of the town I find dreamy roads that curve and sweep around hair pin corners as they ascend and descend the rolling coastal hills. With the beautiful climate I embrace France's terrain like a new lover, passionate and enthusiastic to explore as much of her ample body as she'll allow whilst hoping that my fumbling gropes and gasps are just as pleasing for her. Along the road a little bit I spy my first Patisserie, do I stop so soon? Of course I do! With bread being three of my main food groups I am quite frankly in heaven. So dusting off my non-existant French I step in to order my 'Une Baguette s'il vous plais.' Unfortunately there was quite a queue in front of me. With my nerve faltering I seem unable to help but mimic the ladies in front of me rendering my request to have a high pitched feminine tone that is far from my gruff macho manly gravelly voice. Never the less I seem to be understood as we trade €0.83 for some of the most delicious bread; crispy, fluffy, crunchy, moist, springy, airy all-round-mouthgasm. Although I promise just to have a little bit half of the large baguette is devoured on the spot.
Still miles need to be done and a small part of France needs to be conquered before bed time. Yet I must say as I go about the thirty odd miles it is going to take my body a while to adjust to the climate, I am so glad that my bike can take three water bottles. Just out of a tiny town of Limesy I find a suitable field by the edge of a forest, the key to a good field for wild or fly camping is one that is quite secluded and has no crops on or near because surely no-one would be angry at you for camping on one of those? The French are world renowned for being open and friendly to those hapless Brits who don't even speak their language. After pitching my tent I get down to a meager meal as I discover there were no proper shops near by and I was quite tired, shrinking my small amount of French to full English thus meaning stopping to ask impossibly out of the question. After a sleep and a small ride tomorrow I'm sure I'll do much better.
Settling down for the night with a good pipe everything seems right with the world, I even have my first encounter of the trip with a large sounder of Boars! Ruddy glad there's a fence in the way as they are big buggers but they make hilarious noises! Oinking, grunting, squealing and squelching, a delight to observe. Lesson of the day: Learn much more French!
Saturday, 15 June 2013
Departure Lounge
Rife anticipation of departure is fleeting,
A feast of unknown treats laid for eating;
To sate my hungers lust
Take to the road I must,
With these first steps taken,
Spirits of adventure awaken,
Strap my life to my bikes rear,
Excitement here walks with fear,
But with joy and adventure hand in hand,
I'll garner strength to explore this land.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whist no major cycling expedition will be taking place this year, due to ill time allowances of the corporate world and total lack of respect as to what is really important, I reminisce of last years epic adventure. It was an 850 mile trip by bike pretty much taking in the length of France; as I was travelling alone and to save myself going insane I wrote a travel journal. What better possible way to resharpen my writing senses than to write that journal here. I will warn you parts of it might get repetitive as I do bang on about the weather a fair bit, but spending the almost the entire time outside one tends to look to the skies for inspiration and encouragement. The above poem was penned on the ferry going over and thus the adventure of Skim vs. France began.
A feast of unknown treats laid for eating;
To sate my hungers lust
Take to the road I must,
With these first steps taken,
Spirits of adventure awaken,
Strap my life to my bikes rear,
Excitement here walks with fear,
But with joy and adventure hand in hand,
I'll garner strength to explore this land.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whist no major cycling expedition will be taking place this year, due to ill time allowances of the corporate world and total lack of respect as to what is really important, I reminisce of last years epic adventure. It was an 850 mile trip by bike pretty much taking in the length of France; as I was travelling alone and to save myself going insane I wrote a travel journal. What better possible way to resharpen my writing senses than to write that journal here. I will warn you parts of it might get repetitive as I do bang on about the weather a fair bit, but spending the almost the entire time outside one tends to look to the skies for inspiration and encouragement. The above poem was penned on the ferry going over and thus the adventure of Skim vs. France began.
Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Fallow Field Ripe for Planting
One nights worth of promise,
Small hopes planted from this,
Shall germination take this seed?
Longing for beauty and not just weed.
Old mind of past hastens excitement,
But settle I will just for contentment,
Over-eager old me oft left wanting,
Happy for now just to be planting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A long time coming a?
Small hopes planted from this,
Shall germination take this seed?
Longing for beauty and not just weed.
Old mind of past hastens excitement,
But settle I will just for contentment,
Over-eager old me oft left wanting,
Happy for now just to be planting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A long time coming a?
Monday, 22 August 2011
Part Three
Pt3.
I looked in the direction I was dismissed, toward the head of the beast. Many ill growths protruded from its back, each leaving a trail of dark smog that was whipped back in the wind shear and slowly sank back down to the join with what lay on the surface. I thought I could make out the head of the beast; it was a mere dot on the horizon. The beasts head must’ve been over a mile distant, it would be some trek before I’d get my answers.
As I set off I noted how odd it was that this could be the same writhing mass of energy that I perceived from the ground. It was so still to walk upon; the only movement I could feel from the beast was a small vibration beneath my feet. It was as if I was walking along some massive stripped and shaggy road. Albeit one that was occasionally despoiled by ugly boulders. If it weren’t for the constant billowing of the wind I’d struggle to imagine that we were moving at all. Yet due to this unstoppable breeze I was feeling quite the chill. I pulled my coat closer around me, digging my hands into my pockets as I lent slightly into the wind.
Approaching the first node on my way to the head I saw movement. Shocked I stood to stare for a moment. There was a small grey creature that had two eyes plumb centre on each side of their head, which itself looked oversized for its body. The movement that caught my attention was the head suddenly twisting so one of the eyes could stare unblinking right at me. Its egg shaped head was rounder on top, tapering to a thin neck. Its round eye in the centre of a dark grey ovoid gazing deeply at me was perturbing enough but as I drew my eyes away from the stare I noticed other oddity’s about these creatures. They looked like small children, there grey skin hairless and were dressed in dirty loin cloths. It was their hands and feet that truly disturbed me, for where I would imagine hands to be the wrists and ankles narrowed to shallow hooks that it used to cling to the side of the lumps. No other features could I spy on the smooth heads.
There were three on the growth next to me, all eyeing me, all perfectly still. I looked out to other growths, there was more of these little grey creatures. For what I could see no protrusion was free of them. The other creatures were not still on their respective nodes, they moved in a swaying stop start motion about the protrusions. They would occasionally pause at certain places, I can only assume that they were tending or feeding off of the gross nodes.
I felt as though they were examining me for potential threat, coiled and waiting to pounce if I dared to show aggression. I had no desire to be attacked whilst on the back of a beast which was floating several thousand feet in the air. So I gave them a wide berth as I edged around them they followed my movement eerily twisting their heads to keep me as the main focus for one of their eyes. My shoulders stooped a little as I realise my journey to the head of the beast had just lengthened, for I would have to pass several score of these strange nodes. Still I soldiered on; no destination was ever arrived at by remaining still or wasting effort on fretting about the journey.
I received the same disturbing reception at each protrusion, every time a shiver slid its way through me when as one they stopped to stare. It felt as though just by passing them they took a little from me. My reserves of energy were waning; I started to at first think and then lust for some sustenance. I could not remember my last meal or even a time when I was so famished. The walk was turning into a stooped stumble. My mind started to wonder off to tangents dark and unpleasant, flashbacks of deeds I was most ashamed of crept through my mind. I had survived two long wars; there was much in my mind that if I dwelt on could lead me into a deep ravine of depression that I knew would take me years to function properly. I had led men, some of them good and decent folk to their deaths. Each face now came before my eyes, pale of skin and scarlet of blood.
I had to blink, screwing up my lids hard against my eyes to get my focus back to the path I was walking. I noticed that as I walked past each protrusion the sensation of woe became stronger. Things I hadn’t thought of for years were leaping across my mind. My father dying of a liver complaint, my mother’s non-stop weeping for being left alone, my wife’s death from the birth of our first child who himself was stillborn. It was as though every hurt that I had ever felt were fresh again and competing to weigh my heart down. I do not know what it was the kept my feet moving forward maybe it was something deep in me that knew I had grieved for all these things. Yes each new image hurt but as each new wave swept over me I knew it could not hurt more than it did when it happened. I could feel that it lacked rawness. The greater my bodies desire to stop the less I allowed myself to cease my forward momentum. It was my loving wife that aided me in this, the fresh hurt from her passing allowed me to force other memories of her into my mind. She had always said that I was a stubborn sod.
I started to pick up my pace, my stride became more confident with this the images were fading from my eyes. Now as I strode past the strange grey things I noticed that there were less of them on the facing side of the growths. Now my eyes would focus less on them and came back to my goal, looking up to see the head of the beast now only a few hundred yards from where I was nearly brought a tear of relief to my weary eyes.
I past the last of the protrusions at a near jog, so eager was I to finish this heinous journey. The creatures head was massive, easily the size of a very comfortable room; neck thinned a little and was certainly rounder than his flat broad back. The first step upon his neck I slipped, tumbling down the side of the neck. My guts churned at the acceleration of a falling body, I flailed my arms behind me gripping tightly to the thick fir, dangling from the very side of the neck. Walking along the flat of the back I had no reference to see just how poor my town shoes were at gripping the fir. If it wasn’t for the abundance of his long fir I would’ve fallen from the beast and into the gloom that whisked by below.
I climbed at an angle as so I wouldn’t have to navigate the neck, pulling myself, tired, hungry and thirsty to a stop in the centre of the beast’s massive head. I lay for a second catching my breath. Then a rumble like thunder said. ‘GREETINGS BARTHOLOMEW, YOU HAVE JOURNEYED FAR AND I KNOW YOU HAVE MANY QUESTIONS; WHICH I WILL TRY TO ANSWER BUT I’M AFRAID YOU’VE COME HERE NOT FOR ANSWERS BUT BECAUSE I NEED YOUR HELP.’
With that I started to laugh.
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Continued in pt.2...
I crawled on my one hand and knee’s for an indeterminate amount of time, the concept of minutes and hours faded to be replaced by the halting repetition of shuffling my knee’s forward with a brief pause to move my supporting hand along. I noticed that the texture of the floor became gritty, I’m sure that I was starting to shuffle through sand. A dim refracted light was starting to reveal the floor and the walls of the tunnel. It was indeed sand I was crawling through, it was coarse and yellow with the walls of the tunnel were dark grey rock. Confident that the arrival of light into this narrow tunnel was a declaration that the end of this uncomfortable journey I picked up my pace.
Poking my head out of the exit to the tunnel a desertscape presented itself. The gently undulating sandbanks were punctuated with large mounds of the same dark grey rock that I had just crawled through. They rose abruptly from the ground more as if placed on top of the sand as supposed to it forming from the ground. My view was foreshortened by a black fog, with visibility of over a mile impossible.
I stood from the tunnel, my journey here thus far having made perfect sense to me I was suddenly overcome by the strangeness of my predicament. A wave of nausea plumbed its fathomable claim on me as I staggered a few steps forward. I struggled to comprehend just how it was I came to be in this foreign and alien land. Just as I could feel an incomprehensible rave start to work its way through my body I was dumbfounded by what my eyes took in. A gargantuan reptilian head writhed its way through the dark smog. It was easily thirty yards across, teeth and rough scales protruding unkempt from its face. What’s more it was clearly over one hundred feet from the floor and travelling at quite the pace straight for me. I had little time to wonder at the even thicker beastly body that contorted behind the monstrous head as the very same survival instinct that saw me through two bloody wars kicked in and I ran for cover.
The gust of wind that battered my body as it passed over me, still some distance from any cover, knocked me clean off my feet. I turned on the floor to at least see my killer, but the beast seemed quite uninterested in me. I watched yard after yard of scaled body pass before my eyes, details were hard to make out due to the pace of the beast. I perceived the occasional limb which seemed somewhat redundant as the beast seemed to use its body to beat its way through the air, much like some of the snakes I’ve witnessed swimming it the tropical regions of the far east. After several minutes of me lying on my back staring at the body of strange animal pass not too far from my head it started to thin leaving a whipping tail chasing the rest of it. I stood to look after it disappearing into the murky sky.
Dusting myself off I came to realise I was quite out of my depth, but thanks to my innate survival instinct and my hardy demeanour I dusted myself off and went to retrieve my abandoned coat and hat. For panicking now would not help any chance of me living to see my beloved home again. I must try to retrace my steps I can remember thinking, amongst several prayers to any god whom might have the inclination to be listening to me, for where I came in should surely lead to my way out. Picking both out the sand and dusting them off, I put them on whilst looking for my footprints in the sand. My heckles aroused as I sensed something approach me from behind. I turned to not only see another behemoth loom through the mire of sky but dozens. These beasts were different in composition but most similar in size. I saw what looked like elongated big cat’s to misshapen horses, a myriad of beasts completely alien yet disturbingly familiar were all twisting their way across the sky. I was in awe of this sight.
With so much to take in a once and with a little more perspective between me and the animals I was better able to take in the details of them. On each of their backs were sickly protrusions, which looked like vast tumours of ill growth. The smog that beseeched this land poured forth from these growths leaving inky trails settling in the beasts’ wake. I noticed that they were weaving close to the rocky outcrops.
A familiar grating voice told me to ‘Climb.’ Rending me from my observant reprieve I glanced about to locate the girl. She was nowhere to be seen, but I deemed I should follow her suggestion. I ambled up to the rocky mound that I came out from; looking for an easy path up, it wasn’t a difficult climb. As I neared the top I looked in the direction that they were flying in from and saw that a beast like a huge malformed tiger was flying in my direction. I could see what might be described as a pained expression on its face.
‘Climb.’ Her voice came again.
‘I cannot get higher!’ I declared to this world. No sooner had I finished shouting I heard an unearthly scream berate my eardrums on many different levels. I staggered as a burst of tinnitus whined through my ears. Looking up I saw what looked like a much smaller version of the reptilian airborne beasts was stamping its way toward me on long stick like limbs came across the sand. Maybe it’s an ingrained knowledge from our early animal years that told me that I was very much prey to this very hungry predator.
What sounded like the rapid and heavy beating of wings encroached on my hearing, I turned to see what looked like a massive ladybird hovering a few meters away. ‘Are you still confident you made the correct decision?’ Her voice was clear in my mind yet the whine of my ears was replaced by a rage of noise that was the wind shear from the great tiger like beast passing very close by me.
‘What are you?’ I shouted over the noise.
‘You could not begin comprehend the answer when you’ve more pressing matters at hand, now climb before you’re food, climb!’
The rapid thud of the smaller beast brought my attention back to my immediate surrounds. It was yards from where I stood; quickly I rolled to the opposite side of the stack. It’s monstrous head peered at me as it curled it’s neck around the rock. Clinging to the rock with my fingertips I scrabbled for foot purchase finding it just as it lurched for me snapping at the rock where I was just clinging I kicked around the rock leaping and pulling with every fibre of strength I had. It was twisting its body around the narrow stack of rock while trying to find purchase of a descent lunge at me. Hurriedly I began to think, I couldn’t keep climbing around this rock I could feel myself tiring already. Where could I go? As I rounded the rock I saw my escape, the tiger-like beast, the long fur of its body was rustling past the very rock I was on. I leapt for a handful of it just as the smaller more dangerous beast snapped at my legs grabbing a mouthful of my long coat. I was thankful for its sharp teeth as they neatly sliced through my coat as I whipped away clinging to the flank of flying behemoth.
‘Climb.’ Her voice taunted me again.
‘I’ll give you bloody climb in a minute missy.’ I muttered under my breath.
I tried to inch up the side of the beast, standing on the ground each loop and twist of the behemoth’s looked stationary as their long bodies passed though the same point but it was all I could do to clutch to the side of the body as I was thrown about somewhat as the beast whipped through the air. My hat was long lost in the ferociously beating wind and whilst I was glad for what warmth my coat could provide its drag though the air weighed heavy on my arms. Just as I thought that the strength of my arms was wan the beast arched up to shoot to the skies. A jolt of adrenaline was all that my body could muster to aid me to cling to the deep fir; the acceleration it put me through was breathtaking. As it levelled off the beast stilled to a gentle glide above the murk that had enveloped the land. Grabbing tufts of fir and clamping it between my feet I shimmied up the side of the beast.
As I crept on to the flat back I looked up to encompass my new surrounds. The dense cloud of smog appeared to cling to the surface of this world, dumbstruck I stared at the crimson sky; it fell to a deep sanguine at the horizon with an infinite array of strange stars penetrating through past the glare of a huge white and pink moon. The ruffle of my hair brought my senses back from the vastness of the sky. Thin trails of smoke gently fell from the foul nodes running down the length of the stripped body. The head of the beast was small in the distance, it was soaring straight and true. I could make out in the periphery of my vision other massive beasts breaking the surface of the murk all around, though they seemed not to stay above for long.
Closer afoot the ladybird was clamped to the back a little ways up from me; I felt steady enough to stand on the massive back. It was time for some answers. I strode toward it and as I took a breath to speak she unmoving said. ‘Answers, answers. First questions you must find. He wishes to speak with you.’ And with a twin flick of her antenna dismissed me. If answers I wanted it wasn’t from her that I’d be getting them.
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Short Story Time
Supply & Demand
Pt. 1
The little girl intimidated me greatly. I say little for she was small in size and very youthful in complexion yet she exuded years of experience and gave the distinct impression that she could dominate me physically. Not the petty anger of a child who thinks they could destroy you, yet achieving nothing more than to bruise your shins but the cold confidence of someone who knows from a combination of training and years of putting it to use knows how to cause you pain. It was this and the air of challenge, that she'd enjoy very much to show me she could that left me highly perturbed whenever we met.
She sat opposite me, in a red thick felt over coat with a black ribbon holding her dark hair away from her pale face. I thought it odd that she should wear such clothing indoors for her compact busy little study in which, dark green leather and near black hard wood furniture that was an underlying theme to that of mass papered clutter. It was this office where we always conducted our meetings; it was stiflingly hot as always. My own heavy winter coat was hung on the inside of the door I came through, my top hat I fingered nervously in my lap.
Her lids were closed and she would've looked serene if only her eyes would remain still underneath them. Frantically they moved, as if tracking a torrent of leaves in a heady gust. So it was with quite a start I flinched to the flicking open and sudden probing stare she gave me. Her irises were large and black taking up most of the eye; she could well induce vertigo with the perceived depth of her stare. She smiled at this and then spoke with her gravelly, grating voice that was painful to listen to for too long. 'You've returned for another package. It is too soon.'
'If it is too soon then I would kindly request that the next package is larger, for I perceive an opportunity to increase trade for both of us. It has incurred quite the reputation amongst my customers, selling out well before our regular meetings. You are quite devilishly hard to get hold of outside of our allotted time.'
‘The timing of this request is ill, for it takes much to obtain what you desire.’
‘If you would allow me to assist you I would gladly share the burden of this task.’
‘No, this place is not for you. You are a construct of great fragility; I would need someone of great power to be my assistant. This is not you?’ She spoke in these riddles often, much I have made of the conversations we’ve had in the past, she speak a denial in one sentence whilst ceding to my will in the next. With little to make of the words she spoke it was more of the skill in translating how she told you. In the last statement I could detect a tone of challenge, so it was with little trepidation that I pursued her further.
‘You speak of power, I am a man of cast iron will, through two hard wars I’ve fought and never was my spirit broken though many a man about me crumbed. I’ve a hearty constitution, not taking the ills of this world both physical and moral. I’ve a true influence over people who can make a difference to at least seven countries. And as for being of fragile construct, I am no more or less fragile than yourself.’
My ostentatious little speech drew a smile to her lips; she seemed always amused by me.
‘Greed shall always be your downfall.’ The way she pronounced “your” felt very much as though she wasn’t just talking about me. ‘Pray tell just what it is that you do with what I acquire for you?’ She leaned unblinkingly forward slightly to wait for my reply.
‘The people I sell it to tell me it is a delightful pleasure drug, I have no tolerance for such things, but they are willing to pay great sums to obtain small amounts.’
I remember that this was the first time I heard her laugh. It was truly ghastly. It sounded like crumbling chalk. That laugh would stay with me.
‘It has so many uses, you do not realise what you sell so cheaply. You are a fool to think I would let you come with me.’
I shall not hide the fact the fact that I am quick to temper, this was no exception. I stood to leave, one arm reaching out to gather my coat to me.
‘So this is to be an example of your iron will? It shall make a fine one.’
I made to open the door, my hand resting on the knob. ‘My dear, do not mistake this for a weakness, I merely came to enquire if another transaction was possible, you’ve been clear in your intention.’
‘Have I? You may accompany me this time, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you. Be careful now, I wouldn’t want to lose my favourite customer. Temptation is everywhere.’ She slid off her chair to a stand; she was half my height near exactly. A smile played on her lips, as she opened the other door to her office she spoke over her shoulder. ‘You may wait whilst I ready myself for travel.’ Then she disappeared into the gloom of the adjoining room leaving the door wide open.
I was unsure whether she meant for me to wait in her office or the room to which she had left door open to. Curiosity got the better of me so, coat and hat in hand I followed, precariously, into the darkness beyond her office.
The only source of light in this room was diffused from a green velvet gaming table. There were two gentlemen concentrating on the cards in their hands and on the surface. Just to their side were two grand armchairs, one was empty; the other barely contained the quite the largest man I’ve ever witnessed. My eyes struggled to take him all in, not just because of his impossible size, but from the fact that he barely moved, it was only the thick volumes of smoke the poured from his nostrils that belied him a statue. Sitting in the chair he looked compressed, his knee’s reached to cover three quarters of his chest. Where his elbow’s touched the arm rests they forced his shoulders up near his ears; with one of his arms passing behind his long calves steadying the bottom of a pipe, the ornately carved opposite end was held by his other hand allowing his mouth to clamp over it. A tall hookah pipe stood between the two chairs.
The air in the room was heavy and thick, I had the strongest desire to sit down yet no notion as to what backwards was, thus the only option that represented itself was the one beside the smoking giant. The smooth leather creaked as I settled into the chair, the two playing cards paused glancing at me briefly then haroomphed and muttered back to their game. A sticky sweat trickled down the small of my back, ice compared to the heat of the room. The giant registered not my presence, merely continuing his slow, deep inhalation followed by the steady, acrid exhalation of syrupy, white smoke. Grey predominated the man. From his suit and shirt to the colour of his skin and hair, it was as if his was carved from stone or moulded from ash.
Waves of pulsing heat were attacking my eyelids like a pack of baying wolves taking turns to bring down their weakening prey, with each blink there was a danger of them being brought to a close. I was just about to let sleep takes its dominion of me when a so subtle jolt of realisation worked its way through my immediate neighbour. Like a glacier’s crawl his eyes turned to meet mine. Locked into his stare I could focus on naught else, my mind was a blank, a sheet of paper free in a storm had more chance of being written on than I had of moving my body in that passage of time. All was lost to me until the business end of the hookah pipe broke his stare. No words were said but I knew to not accept the pipe would be a grave error. Placing the dry carved wood between my lips in taking a deep pull on my lungs what felt like cold air washed into my body. I thought I’d done it wrong, for surely there could be no smoke in my body. As I exhaled I was shocked to see such a volume of smoke venture forth. Tastes of cherries and brandy filled my senses, a rush of blood purged clear my mind, I felt detached from my body, yet more together and physically ready than I had in years.
Just as I thought I was getting used to this feeling I saw a light turn on through a doorway opposite my chair. One of the card players grumbled but didn’t look up from or stop fussing at his hand of cards. Through the door a rhythmic and wet spluttering was matched to a metallic clink. What looked like a tin box with wheels rolled into view stopping with a loud splutter that made it sag onto its wheels. It was mainly red with black squares running in two horizontal strips ran around it. Upon a more determined inspection I spied that there was writing on the side of it reading “London Bus”. It was a most peculiar thing.
I stood to get a closer look at it, gathering my coat and hat from my lap and allowed my feet to lead me. When I came within about ten strides it coughed into motion, turning down a hallway. I stopped in surprise, as did it. Every step I took closer it appeared to maintain the distance. I took I should follow this fascinating little device weaving its way down the corridor. When it came to the foot of the stairs there was an open cloak room door. As it ploughed between the coats in the cupboard the noise abruptly stopped. I quick stepped forward and dashed the coats apart.
There was a broken hole in the wall only slightly taller than the wheeled box. Squatting over my heels I peered into the darkness. I could see no end to the hole, but bizarrely I was going in. Far from my mind at this point was waiting for the girl, my focus was to follow. So I mopped my brow with my pocket kerchief and replaced it, fitted my hat securely to my head and folding my coat over as small as was comfortable I clutched it to my person. The hole was just my size at a crawl if I ducked my head down. It couldn’t be described as comfortable but this seemed of little import as I passed the entrance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s been a long while since I’ve posted anything, but fear not, alongside the horror that is moving house I have been crafting hard on this little number. A short story. As these things have their tendencies they run away with themselves, so instead of waiting until I’ve finished I thought I’d pop it up in parts. Hopefully it’ll just be two, but it might spread to three.
Big love.
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Musical Delights
Discovered Joy's
Resonations of taught skins beat,
What's this I hear? New sonic treat,
Primal joy instantaneous flares,
Catch moments through high-hat snares,
Hunger as elements form in merge,
Hearty bass gifts euphoric serge,
Strings action invisible dance,
A joining of no random chance,
Enchanting vocal melodies move me,
Still no longer time for groove to see,
Caught in the rapture of fresh delight,
New pleasure found, no same old shite,
Possible configurations must be done,
Yet musical paths have not nearly begun,
So it is with open and eager ears I long,
For the discovery of the next new song.
Resonations of taught skins beat,
What's this I hear? New sonic treat,
Primal joy instantaneous flares,
Catch moments through high-hat snares,
Hunger as elements form in merge,
Hearty bass gifts euphoric serge,
Strings action invisible dance,
A joining of no random chance,
Enchanting vocal melodies move me,
Still no longer time for groove to see,
Caught in the rapture of fresh delight,
New pleasure found, no same old shite,
Possible configurations must be done,
Yet musical paths have not nearly begun,
So it is with open and eager ears I long,
For the discovery of the next new song.
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